I came across a really sad story yesterday, a letter written by a husband, following the death of his 49 year old wife, who went to Hungary for butt lift surgery(https://twitter.com/vicderbyshire/status/1069940048995516416) . It got me wondering, whether there is an age when you are too old for surgery.
There is an age when you are too young for surgery. In most cases you have to be an adult, ie 18 years old, if the surgery is purely aesthetic, but as far as I’m aware, if you have the money, and past the fitness test for surgery (both physically and psychologically), you can have your boobs, butt or whatever else done, right up until your in your 80s.
By then, one would hope to be at peace with your body, or hope that you would have more pressing things to think about such as…. staying alive. But in relation to the poor 49 year old referred to above, my initial thought was why? Why at this stage of her life did she feel the need to have a bigger/more pronounced butt?
By all accounts she was a happy wife and mother. Is it that she stopped feeling sexy and attractive? I doubt if such feelings suddenly occur in your late 40s. Those type of insecurities tend to occur much younger, in your 30s, or if you’re really unlucky, in your 20s. Stories of women having breast surgery after their last child has sucked them dry and shapeless, are common, and I get that, but I just don’t feel the same way about butt surgery, at almost 50 years of age.
I’m not saying at all that at age 49, you’re supposed to let yourself go (the whole point of my blog is to celebrate how fabulous it is to be in your 40s). I do my nails, thread my lashes, have lash extensions (tastefully done of course, not those monstrosities that are so thick, so long so ridiculous) and i’m waxed within inches of my life. However in my view, butt lifts are for the young , frisky and feckless. After say the age of 35, you should strongly be asking yourself whether a pair of padded knickers could do the job just as well. Cheaper and no one has ever died as a result of wearing them.
Weirdly though I don’t feel the same way about other forms of cosmetic surgery. I’m sure that had the story been about a nose or boob job, I wouldn’t bother to write about it. I would be just as chilled if the story was about a tummy tuck. This makes no sense, I know.
The sad truth of the matter is, that this poor woman must have felt pressure from society to look a certain way. Images of flawless celebrities/ models, social media telling us how we must look. I am firmly of the view that if an image has been airbrushed, there should be an obvious notification printed alongside letting you know. Its ridiculous to suggest that these women, who have had kids, often more than one, don’t have a single stretch marks. I had loads even before I had my child.
We hear all the time of the pressures that teenagers are under to look a certain why, but we very rarely hear that women like us, women like the one in the story, are under the same pressure. There is an expectation that when you get to a certain age, you should be over it. That’s so not true as we are fumbling just like any other age group. I felt particularly sad however, that the pressure in this lady’s case was so great, that she considered butt surgery to be the answer.
Each to their own, every woman is entitled to do what they want to make themselves feel good, but I just feel that certain surgeries are for the young, including butt surgery and vaginoplasty/vaginal rejuvenation. In our 40s, do we really need to worry about having a tight fanny? I think not.
I am torn on this issue. I’ve blogged before about the outdated perception of women in their 40s and that there is little to separate us from women in their 30s, and i feel conflicted that when I read the story, I was drawn to the issue of age more than anything else.
It would be great to know what you think.
Til then, stay fabulous, you are great exactly as you are.